Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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