OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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