Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize