Betty ford says i'm here all night
Moan for me like Helen Keller
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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