Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
