We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize