it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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