Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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