tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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