i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
