So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
