you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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