It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
