im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
