The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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