a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
