I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
