We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize