Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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