its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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