the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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