Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
