Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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