I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
