Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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