idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
