U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We just shotgunned beers for America
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
