The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This is not my ceiling
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
