I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
