I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
