just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
