We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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