They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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