'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
