no, he came in my armpit
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
