If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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