remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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