Will you blow on my dice?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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