we have officially lost it.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
