I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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