im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
