I will die if light touches me.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
tell me about the fingering
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