why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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