hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
