I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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