A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
