So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
