That's when you crack a 10am beer
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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