another moral hangover. fuck.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
