If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
