is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
