Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
