He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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