i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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