I understand Curling. That high.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
