i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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