i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
