Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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