"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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