I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
